Well it has been a while since I last posted a blog. For some reason I have been feeling a bit down the last month. I cannot pinpoint why and nothing has really happened out of the ordinary that has triggered this feeling. It feels quiet odd actually. Part of me feels fulfilled but not exactly complete. I am grateful for what I have. My children are healthy. I am in a happy and healthy relationship and I am surrounded by loving friends. Yet I still feel a sense of sadness within me.
The other night as the kids were asleep and I was up watching TV with my husband, he asked if I was ok. I turned and said ‘no, not really. I am feeling quiet empty, overwhelmed and lost’. He asked me why and I couldn’t answer his question. That is just how I felt and I could not explain why! It was like something was missing. Almost like the guidance from a greater force then myself that I normally felt was no longer there.
It wasn’t until tonight when I came across a poem that made me realise that the reason why I feel the way I do is because I have lost the connection with my spirituality. You don’t have to be religious to be spiritual. Spirituality can be a connection with a greater force other then yourself but for me, my spirituality is derived from Christianity and God.
The last month I have exercised more then usual thinking I would feel less stressed if I did so. I have eaten so many comfort foods thinking maybe I just needed a break and I should just enjoy my chocolate and chips. I have bought my fair share in material objects thinking they would fulfil the emptiness I have been feeling. But no, I have just been left feeling exhausted, sluggish and guilty and yes, still empty!
Where do you go when you need guidance?
Who do you turn to other then family and/or friends?
Where or what do you find solace in when you feel lost and down?
I know my purpose in life. I know I want to help others. I know I want to make a difference in my family, in my community and in the world. I am not perfect. I have made decisions I am not proud of. But God still loves me. I know I can and will achieve my purpose in life with gods grace and guidance.