11 November, 2014 is the date I shared my last blog post. Five months later and so much has happened and so much has changed and shifted within me. To give you all an update, I will briefly touch base on some of the struggles I shared with you all in November and to let you all know where I am at personally at the present moment.
I am feeling a lot better about myself these days. I still have a lot of work to do but I have decided that this year I will focus on self acceptance. Since I wrote last, I joined a new fitness place called Livestrong Primal Fitness. A friend encouraged me to give it a go as it is not your normal gym which was something I was looking for. Here I met two incredible people. Tanya and Andrew. To say they have changed me is an understatement. Not only have they helped me to physically achieve goals but they have helped me become a strong, powerful and liberated woman. Tanya who I see most during classes has been my inspiration since the day I met her at one of my trial sessions. She embodies what a strong woman should be and not only in the physical sense. I truly believe that you meet people in life for a reason whether it is met with a positive outcome or not. There are lessons to be learnt. Yes, I still do have my moments where I don’t like what I see but those days have decreased immensely and boy do I feel free. Body image will continue to be something that I will have to work on as it plays a significant role in self acceptance. However, I am determined and I am strong and I know I will get there.
STAY AT HOME MUM:
I have had a huge shift when it comes to being a stay at home mum. It wasn’t until Tanya asked me ‘Do you even want to work’? That I realised hang on, I have an option here. Why have I had it engraved in my mind that I have to go back to work to prove that I something or someone in this world. That same night, I asked my husband ‘Would it bother you if I didn’t work until I was ready too’? My husband turned to me and said ‘No, of course not. You can do whatever you want’. Oh ok…why hadn’t I ever spoken to him about this before? Why did I assume he would want me to go back to work as the kids got older? All of a sudden guilt gone. I have come to the realisation that I love and enjoy being a stay at home. Looking back I think the justification of being a stay at home mum was stealing the joy from it all. For the time being I am grateful and truly blessed to have had the last 5 years at home with my children. I am excited about what the future holds for me.
In my last blog I wrote about wanting to confront a friend about something she said to hurt me but I was concerned it would ruin the friendship. Not long after I wrote my blog I told her how I felt and guess what? It ruined the relationship which resulted in us ending a five year friendship. The words exchanged played on my mind for months and each time I would think about it tears would well up in my eyes and the hurt felt so raw for so long. It wasn’t until recently I deleted all the messages that were exchanged that day and today I can breathe a huge sigh of relief. It was like I was holding onto the pain but for what? This experience made me learn a lot about myself and I also realised that it wasn’t just the exchange of hurtful words and comments that ended the friendship. Sometimes in life, it is not until you step away from situations/people that you realise the impact something or someone had on you. Today a shift has occurred and I feel free because of it.
This is where I am at presently and I feel good about it. Many friends have asked about my blog, why I haven’t been updating it and when my next post was going to be. Without their encouragement I would have not found the strength to start being open again due to the experiences over the last few months. So, I would like to thank all those friends for their continued support and friendship. I am grateful to be surrounded by such positive, inspiring and strong friends.